Pandemic Recruiting

Dear [player name]

Thank you for your interest in Pandemic!  We have reviewed your application and I regret to inform you that there will not be a place for you in our guild at this time.  A few noteworthy points about your application:

1. Listing “Super secret spy work I legally can’t talk about” as previous gaming experience doesn’t fool people.
2. eBay feedback does not count as a reference.
3. I’m pretty sure the drawing you included was a **** female troll, but we did not ask for any sketches and even if we did, that is entirely inappropriate.
4. In future applications, you might want to avoid words like “Wooooooooooooooot!” and “Super awesomeness”, especially when the question is “How old are you?”.

We appreciate your application and wish you the best in your future endeavours. 
Sincerely,
xavier

Please accept my join request. Name on game is 'Rich'.

Thanks

Dear [player name],
 
Thank you for your interest in Pandemic.  We invite you to complete our Guild Application so you can be considered for acceptance in our mighty, mighty guild.  Kindly answer all questions.
 
What is your name (in game):
Current guild (blank if none):
What is your favorite troop composition?
Can you drink legally in the United States?
Can you drink legally in Montreal, Quebec?
Can you drink legally in France?
Do you drink?
Do you drive?
Please don’t drink and drive.
Is Elvis Presley still alive?
On average, how many times a week do you injure yourself dancing in the shower?
Smarties or Skittles?
How long after you are full do you keep eating?
Do you own a pet?  If so, please describe a typical morning in the life of that pet.
If you could choose one (1) of the following items for the next Siegefall update, which would you choose?

1. Fix Sync Errors

If I gave you $10 bucks to go buy me chocolate milk, and it only cost $3, would you bring me all the change or would you tell me it was actually $10? Because I’ll know. I’ll know chocolate milk doesn’t cost that much.
Eminem, Taylor Swift, or Prince?
If you could choose to be raised by robots, dinosaurs, or aliens, who would you pick? Why?

Please allow 48 hours for application processing.  You will receive notification from the guild via registered mail.
http://pandmic.site

We use mad skills to annihilate our opponents.  Kingdom’s whimper when we click them on our combat map.  Bigfoot tries to take pictures of us.  We are so op, Gameloft had to add a forth star to deal with our wins.  Daenerys Targaryen fantasizes about us.  We are so in tune with this game, we get sync errors in real life.  We have Chuck Norris and Jackie Chan on speed dial.  The Holy Grail is looking for us.  If you flip over China, it says “Made by Pandemic”.

We are Pandemic, and we need one more person to join the legend. 

http://pandemic.site

Pandemic players run legendary raid with just a single camp of level 1 footmen - to make it challenging.  We once taught a German Sheppard to bark in Spanish.  Television watches us.  Monkeys in our kingdom pay us for the privilege to return gems.  Ever wonder where the map fragments come from?  Ya, we planted them.   Our feet don't get blisters, but our shoes do.

We are Pandemic.  Are you ready to be legendary?

http://pandemic.site

Pandemic is pleased to introduce our new comphrehensive player benefit package.  Benefits include:
​1.  Access to guild chat
2.  Free makeovers by our team of trained Gargoyles.
3.  Full medical coverage (does not cover death or injury)
4.  Five free nights at our guild time share in the Northlands (please excuse the smelly barbarians)
5.  Complimentary access to our guild crest 

Join now and don't miss out on these benefits!

Pandemic doesn't play god.
Playing is for children. 

Now recruiting.
http://pandemic.site

I'd like to join if you still have a spot. I'm Tyler in game. I had ~100,000 rings last season. Unfortunately, due to all the bugs, my game freezes about 60% of the time on startup, so sometimes I can't get on for a day or two. I try to be as active as possible given my limitations.